Being a Maharaja

It’s impossible to write about all the adventures we had in India. The smells were so intense that I started gaining weight, and I never really got rid of my tan since. I can hardly remember my innocent white belly from childhood, now it looks as dark and leathery as Clint Eastwood’s. I soon found out the difference between admirers and enemies, sometimes they did both at the same time. The most dangerous people in the world are definitely kids, the smaller the worse they are. First they grab me, press my belly and head, even try to torture me (they wouldn’t listen to any confession I make neither), then they bite and try to eat me, and when my Mami steps in to save me they start to cry as if they couldn’t live without me! I like worshipping, but without the torture thing.

Because Mami was so important we visited lots of palaces and I met many people with turbans and moustaches. The people who followed her always bought loads of stuff wherever they went, similar to chicken who always pick up things off the ground. Mami and I were always very welcome, although sometimes people were so confused they thought I was the leader and Mami my servant. Well, not confused perhaps, as they do have 5000 years of wisdom and sometimes a third eye with which they can see things, but of course I couldn’t control Mami like I did with the camels.

One special day she thought I was old enough to meet the Maharaja. She dressed me up and we had dinner in a big room. Full of pride, the Maharaja just showed everybody how to tie his turban when suddenly he spotted how perfectly done mine was! In fact it was more precise than his. He was totally impressed and we were big friends since. Whenever we stopped by in his palace gave me the honour to guard his weapon collection. When we saw him the last time he gave me a big good bye present! He gifted me with some of his own land to make sure I would always leave a part of me with him. Well it was just a square metre or so but being an owner of royal property that turned me into a Maharaja myself!!! I love that guy! He kept calling me Murg but that was fine.

Travelling in India was much more fun since. People started to take pictures of me, everyone fed me with smells and we had VIP treatment in most places, similar to Princess Diana whose seat I sat on.